mariamusic

Strange Love by Depeche Mode, and I did have a strange love when I was a teenager. seriously!



Hope you ,Kahless, and other readers enjoy.

Best,
Maryam.

[Note- I first responded to Darya on my comments area; then, I thought I made a big step today which I am proud of ,so I thought to declare it in a blog posting .]

What happened July 3rd 3-4 pm Pacific time for me:

Yes, I did go. I was very nervous at the beginning.The only therapist I had, and what I learned, was a transactional Analyst, so I had no clue how the session would go. Anyhow, I arrived there a bit earlier for the paperworks. When I say her notestick on the paper, "Welcome Maryam.....", I bursted in tears.

The session went on well, and I liked her. I especially liked her eyes. She kept taking notes when i talked, and I kept evaluating her when she talked or moved; I evaluated her dress, her speach, her movements and so forth.

She asked questions, and I answered. I liked how she challenged me, and I liked to realize that how "shut up" I am. Forexample, I could understand her points, but when she asked me to describe or something like that, my mind was shut down.

She learned some about me today, and I discovered a little about myself; I discovered that I am not a loser. I lookforward to our next session which is the following week. And I am going to not harm myself meanwhile because I have to be alive inorder for us to work on.

However, I still need to see a second professional for my suicidal thoughts. She heard that I might suicide , and I think I am going to trust her. I either have to, atleast, consult with a psychiatrist, or see a holistic specialists, or I have to be inpatient in a hospital. I think most probably I will see a psychiatrist.

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I will add if i remember more. right now I want to go and watch a movie.